An Open Letter to Female Celebrities

To Whom It May Concern,

Over the past several weeks, we, the public, have been inundated with beaver shots. While I can't speak for everyone, I for one am not all that interested in seeing vagine. Surely you have enough money for panties.

And why are you not wearing panties anyway? I understand that some women do not wear underwear, but they surely are not wearing micro-minis and climbing out of cars.



While we're on the subject, what is up with being completely shaven? Is the landing strip a thing of the past? (On an aside, do normal grown humans really find child-like vaginas hot?) Not that I'm real 70's, and definitely not young Demi Moore-ish but...I don't know. A bald adult "area" is weird.

Let's take back our snatches, ladies, and save the wide-open shots for our partners and our OBGYNs.

Peace,
sbh

P.S. When are we going to see some bits and pieces? I would like to see what Clive Owen is packing, but that's just me...